Is it ok to be angry at God for giving you a passion in something that isn’t really profitable and giving you talent in something that is? So you have to make the never ending decision whether to do something that your good at but don’t really care about and be well off, or doing something that you love and have passion for but won’t make much.
I’ve been working on my web designing more recently and been looking into potentially getting a full time job so I can DO things. It kills me because I enjoy web designing… but have no passion for it… but I could be making a KILLING do it… theres a listing for a $85k year job in Anaheim… I mean, I’d have to learn some more things… but SERIOUSLY… I could live in a 2 bedroom apartment by myself, get a nicer car/truck and rent a studio. (but when would I have time for it.) buy myself some pretty things… but like, I’d rather be my studio any time over anything.
Ugh it sucks because I have to start questioning my morals… where do I want to place the most importance in my life. Would I rather sacrifice getting ready for grad school and exploring myself as artist… or succumb to the “normal” life style and commit to the 9 to 5 job and kill my soul slowly.
Or… do I commit the next 5-10 years of my life to this whole rigamarole of full time nice jobbness and some how get out of it and go back to being the role of artist… or do something with it. Do I want to be 33 and start going to grad school? I mean theoretically I want to be doing something different with my life in 5 years… and I want to have something started an going… but like… I have no means to get there.